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Herbert P. Bear/Quotes

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Operation: Blackout

  • Too Late...
  • Boom!
  • (grunts) OH... NOOOOOO!
  • Enjoy it before I destroy it!
  • The weather forecast calls for eternal darkness. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  • You can't stop me!
  • Sometimes I sit and wait for you fools to take the bait. Prepare now to face your fate. Can't stop me... you're much too late.
  • Club Herbert is very original. And more importantly, it is mine.
  • Time to concentrate on my plans. My solar laser is coming along excellently, if I do say so myself...
  • Blowing up the PSA headquarters with a popcorn bomb. So simple, so satisfying.
  • Follow the nice little detonator!
  • That's nice. Now be quiet.
  • Go away!
  • I'm a vegetarian, you daft creature!
  • I will improve the island. You penguins will be free to leave, or stay and enjoy the silence.
  • Who is this Gariwald you speak of? Unless he has vegetarian recipes, or knows how to silence you penguins, I'm not interested.
  • Gary? I froze him!
  • No parties. Parties are far too noisy.
  • I usually sneak around these places.
  • Is it just me, or is it getting dark out?
  • I must be leaving now.
  • Now where's that log out button...
  • SHUSH!
  • GUARD THE ENTRANCES!
  • YES YOU MAY BOW TO ME.
  • You want a story?
  • Well, I AM a master storyteller.
  • Once upon a time there was a magnificent polar bear, who wanted to build a woodchopper, so that everyone could have a nice warm fire.
  • But along came a group of nasty agents.
  • But I escaped!
  • EVERYBODY OFF MY CHAIR! OR ELSE!
  • ROAAR!!
  • GOT THAT MINIONS?
  • Alright, quiet down.
  • Very well Klutzy!
  • MWA HA HA HA HA!!
  • Its GROSS
  • Did you understand the magnitude of what I just said?
  • Klutzy? He's back at base.
  • For now!
  • What's over there?
  • I've never SEEN the front of the Coffee Shop.
  • LETS DO THIS PLAY
  • I'm going this way
  • WHAT ARE YOU A BUNCH OF GHOSTS?
  • Greetings my subjects
  • Setting up here was a STROKE OF GENIUS. Spacious. Quiet. And that pump is perfect to keep this place dry.
  • Those Elite Penguin FOOLS will never find me! MWAHAHAHAHA!
  • Masterful idea to salvage the solar laser for my new plan.
  • KLUTZY! No pizza! We'll eat once I'm finished.
  • KLUTZY! NOOOOOOOO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!
  • AAAAAAAHH! Wait a second! What are you doing up there agent!?!!? NO! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!
  • You have not seen the last of me!

Star Wars Takeover

  • BREATHES LOUDLY
  • (Breathing noise)
  • Greetings!
  • Attention!
  • Listen to me!
  • Greetings, rebel traitors!
  • Attention, rebel traitors!
  • Listen to me, rebel traitors!
  • I am Darth Herbert
  • Master of the Force
  • Servant of the Dark Side
  • Commander of the Empire's forces
  • Sworn enemy of the Alliance
  • Fearsome foe of friendliness
  • And all-around mean guy
  • I am here to be obeyed
  • If you wish to surrender now, that's fine
  • You will be defeated
  • But it will save us both time
  • And I can take a longer lunch
  • If you do not surrender...
  • ...you will be defeated anyway
  • But I'll be angry you wasted my time
  • You want to hear some stories, do you?
  • Very well, I shall regale you
  • I was in a podrace once
  • I destroyed the other competitors
  • And I won
  • That's usually how I do business
  • I have fought many Lightsaber duels
  • I remember one with my old master
  • What was his name?
  • Anyway, I defeated him
  • He wasn't so great after all
  • I have used the Force for many things
  • To persuade people
  • To destroy people
  • But the best thing I ever used it for...
  • Wait, why should I tell you?
  • I should blast you into space!
  • Do not be so rash
  • Fools!
  • Do you doubt my power?
  • I will defeat you!
  • You are insignificant!
  • Who dares?!
  • Do you defy me?
  • Your power is nothing compared to mine!
  • I don't want to talk about that!
  • Never bring that up again!
  • (angry breathing noise)
  • Arrrrrgh!
  • Grrrrrr
  • None of your Jedi mind tricks!
  • I cannot be fooled
  • I was a Jedi once
  • But I was too powerful
  • That's why I left
  • I don't care what you've heard
  • Put away your Lightsaber!
  • I will not embarrass you...
  • ...with defeat in front of your friends!
  • Put away those Lightsabers!
  • I could defeat you with a single thought
  • I could defeat you with a single snowball
  • For I am Darth Herbert
  • You Rebels think you can destroy the Death Star?
  • I will defeat YOU!
  • Then you won't be destroying anything!
  • If you reveal the Rebel spy to me...
  • ...I will still defeat you all...
  • ...But I will make it quick
  • Can you direct me to...
  • The Death Star bridge?
  • I have planets to conquer
  • The Death Star docking bay?
  • My ship's come in
  • The Death Star meeting room?
  • I'm late for my four o'clock
  • The Death Star elevator room?
  • It's the only way to get around this place
  • The Death Star trash compactor?
  • I have some Rebel garbage to take out
  • The Death Star tractor beam room?
  • Collecting shuttles is one of my hobbies
  • The Death Star detention block?
  • Those prisoners won't interrogate themselves
  • The Throne Room?
  • Big meeting with the boss
  • The Millennium Falcon?
  • I just have a little sabotage to do
  • My favorite animal is the Bantha
  • They are quite delicious!
  • But not very bright
  • What is my favorite place?
  • I like the Death Star's garbage compactor
  • When there are Rebel spies in it!
  • What is my favorite sport?
  • Hunting Rebel spies!
  • I don't like it to be too easy
  • So I give them a good head start
  • My hobbies are Lightsaber duels
  • Disciplining underlings with the Force
  • Flying my TIE fighter
  • Crushing the Rebellion
  • Defeating my old masters
  • Collecting space shuttles
  • I like to keep busy
  • My favorite possession?
  • I'm very fond of the Death Star
  • And my TIE Fighter
  • And my Lightsaber
  • Anything that destroys things, basically
  • My favorite color is dark
  • It is the color of my wardrobe
  • As well as my favorite side
  • I'm talking about the Dark Side
  • In case that wasn't clear
  • My favorite planet is Alderaan
  • I mean... WAS Alderaan
  • Heh heh
  • Are you a Rebel?
  • Will you join the Dark Side?
  • You want to join the Dark Side?
  • Good choice
  • Unfortunate decision
  • I find your lack of faith disturbing
  • Join the Dark Side
  • We have cake
  • and cookies
  • We have cooler outfits
  • The Dark Side will win
  • Farewell, fools!
  • Are you still here?
  • Is there any reason you're still here?
  • I have no further use for you
  • I have no further use for this conversation
  • This conversation is at an end
  • There is no further need for you to speak
  • I've gotten all I need from you
  • Thank you, that is all
  • Be gone!
  • I tire of the sight of you
  • Your presence bores me
  • Why are you still annoying me?
  • I'm off to crush the Rebellion
  • The Rebellion is not going to crush itself
  • I have a Death Star to activate
  • I have Jedi to defeat
  • Elite Penguin Force?
  • You mean Rebel Penguin Force?
  • Who is a crab called Klutzy?
  • Director at EPF?
  • You mean leader at rebel?
  • (Angry Breathing Noise)
  • Bah!
  • Any question about me?
  • Don't hack the computer or you will destroy dark side!
  • My hobbies are dueling lightsaber with rebel.
  • But I will win no one can beat my power!
  • Let's join dark side with me and rule the galaxy!
  • I never give up to destroy you fools!
  • Finally a penguin listens to me!
  • Thanks for the pizza Penguin.
  • NO HUGS!
  • NO SMILING!
  • The frown is OK.
  • NO HEARTS!

Operation: Puffle

  • Well well well
  • Look who we have here
  • Greetings
  • Why hello there
  • Who goes there?
  • Oh
  • it's you
  • You again?
  • What do you want?
  • Look what the puffle dragged in
  • Allow me to introduce myself
  • I am Herbert P Bear Esquire
  • Formerly of the Arctic Circle
  • Professional villain
  • Certified genius
  • Ursus Maritimus
  • That means polar bear
  • Who are you?
  • THAT'S your name?
  • That's a silly name
  • Go away
  • So long fools!
  • Now
  • if you'll excuse me
  • I must be off
  • I must be leaving now
  • You penguins are strange
  • I'm outta here
  • Make like a tree
  • And LEAVE!
  • Shoo!
  • I don't have time for this
  • I'm a very busy genius
  • MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  • What's that?
  • You have some questions
  • do you?
  • Very well
  • I shall grace you with my knowledge
  • I shall astound you with my brilliance
  • Ask away
  • My favorite animal?
  • My favorite animal is the polar bear
  • They are majestic geniuses
  • My favorite music is QUIET music
  • Which you penguins simply DO NOT HAVE
  • I also enjoy listening to Bearthooven
  • The famous polar bear composer
  • So beautiful
  • My favorite game?
  • The only games I play are MIND games
  • Which your puffles seem to enjoy
  • I also enjoy a game of solitaire
  • My favorite sport?
  • Hmmm
  • Is taking over the world a sport?
  • No?
  • Then I don't like sports
  • Next question
  • My favorite food?
  • I enjoy seaweed pizza the most
  • But you had better hold the anchovies
  • Or else I shall ensure your DOOOOM!
  • I hate meat
  • I'm a vegetarian
  • you daft creature!
  • Vegetables are far superior in taste and texture
  • They're also better for you
  • I cannot stress that enough
  • My hobbies are building ingenious devices
  • Plotting to take over the island
  • And dancing
  • Err I mean
  • I DON'T DANCE!
  • EVIL GENIUSES DON'T DANCE!
  • NO MORE QUESTIONS!
  • MWA HA HA!
  • Are you serious?!
  • There's no way!
  • You don't know what you're talking about
  • I disagree!
  • I'm an expert on this
  • You might have a point there
  • Well played
  • penguin
  • You are right
  • but I am also right
  • Because I'm never wrong
  • That would be impossible
  • FINE!
  • NO!
  • What are you saying?
  • Darth Herbert?
  • No I'm Herbert
  • Sounds like someone is using my name
  • That's understandable
  • since it is so awesome
  • He sounds like a smart bear
  • The Force?
  • I have all the force I need!
  • You want to be my friend?!
  • MWAHAHAHAHAA!
  • That's hilarious!
  • Oh man!
  • Stop stop stop!
  • No but seriously I don't do friendship
  • You are welcome to be my minion
  • Request to be a minion the same way
  • that you'd request friendship
  • YOU'RE WELCOME!
  • You can be on my minion list
  • For now
  • Minions! It is time to prove your loyalty
  • Pledge your support to the cause of
  • ME!
  • Show me the high paw emote!
  • MUHAHAHAHA!
  • Look at all of my minions
  • Excellent work minions
  • All those who didn't show the paw sign
  • You are welcome to go jump in the river
  • Indeed
  • Impossible!
  • You pesky penguins!
  • You have terrible spelling
  • Do you understand the magnitude of what I just said?
  • It was simple A bit of this
  • a bit of that
  • I'm a mastermind!
  • You're all dressed funny
  • That was a waste of time
  • Sigh
  • Groan
  • Growls
  • I forgot
  • What was your name again?
  • I despise puffles
  • But I finally found a use for them
  • If they were more like crabs I wouldn't mind them
  • Crabs are quiet
  • Crabs do what I command
  • Klutzy?
  • Hmm
  • yes he is
  • No he isn't
  • He is a loyal sidekick
  • Every genius needs a proper lackey
  • I suppose he's rather useful
  • He's a good one to have around
  • HAHAHA!
  • This one time he tried to make a salad
  • actually never mind
  • Klutzy is keeping my lair warm
  • Someone needs to put coins in the machine
  • And it's sure not going to be me!
  • Look lively
  • you puny penguins
  • I'm going this way
  • You may follow if you wish
  • Out of the way!
  • All loyal subjects may follow me
  • The rest of you STAY PUT!
  • Feel free to follow me
  • I'm going to the Boot Camp
  • I'm going to the Lava Cliffs
  • I'm going to the Puffle Vet
  • I'm going to the Ice Falls
  • I'm going to the Rapids
  • I'm going to the River Cave
  • I'm going to the Treehouses
  • This way
  • I suppose
  • Keep up!
  • Stop dragging your feet
  • Pick up the pace
  • penguins
  • I don't have all day
  • YOU!
  • I know you!
  • You're the Agent that's always fowling up my plans!
  • You're the agents that are always fowling up my plans!
  • GRR!
  • Stay out of my way!
  • Give up! There's no way you can defeat me!
  • Spare me your silly snowballs
  • Oh yeah!
  • TAKE THIS!
  • HA!
  • My snowballs are ten times greater than yours!
  • Thanks to my magnificent strength!
  • Good try
  • Agent
  • but better luck next time
  • Need I remind you
  • that not only am I more intelligent than you
  • but also much stronger?
  • but also smarter?
  • but also much more awesome?
  • but also faster?
  • but also taller?
  • but also umm
  • rounder?
  • more like a bear?
  • NEVERMIND!
  • Leave the snarky comments to me
  • You know the worst part about the
  • Extremely Pathetic Fools?
  • They can't help flashing their badges
  • They always show them off!
  • WHAT?
  • Are you all with the EPF?
  • Those badges can't stop me
  • and neither can you
  • BAH!
  • BLARGLE!
  • HEY!
  • STOP THAT!
  • WILL YOU STOP THAT!
  • KEEP THE SNOWBALLS TO YOURSELVES!
  • GAH!
  • OUCH!
  • EVERYONE FREEZE!
  • STAY BACK!
  • GRRRRR!!!
  • You pathetic penguins are starting to make me ANGRY!
  • You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!
  • SILENCE!
  • Enough of your shenanigans!
  • I just groomed my fur!
  • ROOOOOAAAARRRR!!!!
  • NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
  • NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!
  • I HATE the river!
  • You penguins go rafting for fun?
  • That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of
  • I'm only staying out here because
  • I thought you'd never figure out boats
  • STOP SPLASHING!
  • Polar bears don't like getting wet!
  • Of course they don't!
  • crosses quickly
  • I don't want to stay on the river
  • I'm not scared!
  • I'm just busy
  • And all my business involves firm ground
  • Bring in the goods puffle!
  • I don't know how they find all those coins
  • but I love that they can do it
  • You penguins were just keeping them as pets?
  • What a waste!
  • Soon I'll have so many coins
  • I can keep my heater on all year
  • puffles!
  • Get in gear puffle!
  • Hey you!
  • Don't bring that little furball near me
  • or I'll put it to work!
  • Ugh you bring yours with you?
  • They're sofluffy
  • Yuck!
  • Set it free?
  • Set them free?
  • They're just getting started!
  • They're happy to work!
  • No really
  • that mind control makes them happy
  • It's pretty amazing
  • if I do say so myself
  • Not until I have enough coins!
  • checks on puffle
  • adjusts brain box
  • Gotta make sure this is nice and snug
  • I don't want anyone taking these off
  • I've noticed some puffles leaving the job
  • This is unacceptable!
  • All I want is
  • to use all of the island's puffles
  • to dig up a fortune in coins
  • have them deliver it to my secret base
  • and then have Klutzy put them into
  • my giant coin-operated heater
  • for the rest of my life
  • Is that so much to ask?
  • Loyal minions!
  • Let's get some more puffles
  • You there!
  • Give up your puffles
  • I always need more help
  • It's so hard to find good help
  • This is where puny penguins train?
  • What's the point?
  • I don't see anything here
  • that teaches you how to be a bear
  • With a training camp like this
  • it's no wonder none of you found my base
  • Now this place isn't too bad
  • I almost set up my base here
  • The lava would have kept me warm
  • and it does look appropriately awesome
  • But I said to myself
  • Herbert you're too unique to have a
  • base in a volcano
  • You're a smart and creative villain
  • You can do MORE
  • So I did! HAHA!
  • Minions!
  • If you're looking for a place to start
  • your career of villainy
  • these cliffs aren't bad
  • Though the EPF is sure to look here first
  • And you don't want them around
  • They are infuriating
  • Getting rid of them
  • Requires a lot of clever traps
  • And lots of hot sauce
  • Oh blargh!
  • This place makes me ill
  • All the caring and petting of puffles
  • Just embarrassing
  • And they make so much noise
  • Between toys
  • eating
  • playing
  • They never stay quiet!
  • You want to take care of your puffle?
  • I've got a better deal for you
  • Hand your puffle over and I'll make sure
  • that he never bothers you again
  • You don't like my deal?
  • Your loss
  • penguin!
  • Excellent!
  • Leave it by the Ice Falls
  • And I'll make sure he finds a good home
  • BRR!
  • I can barely hear myself think
  • over the sound of the falls
  • It's WAY too cold and WAY too loud here
  • I can't stand it!
  • You hear that EPF agents?
  • In case you are listening
  • I CAN'T STAND IT HERE!
  • Did you see the mountain over there?
  • Even the mountains look like puffles
  • It's just ridiculous
  • A polar bear mountain
  • would be so much greater
  • That gives me a wonderful idea
  • WHAAAA?
  • RAPIDS!
  • WHIRLPOOL!
  • This place is horrible!
  • AAAAAHHHHHH!
  • It's too fast!
  • I want off this ride!
  • I can't swim!
  • Plug the whirlpool!
  • Stop the river!
  • SAVE ME!
  • I'm getting out of here!
  • Save yourselves!
  • Lots of digging going on here
  • Some of my best hauls come
  • from these tunnels
  • I bet you penguins don't even know
  • where all these tunnels lead to
  • That's why it was so clever of me
  • to use them!
  • They're a great way to move coins
  • And not a bad place to hide a base
  • If you had one you wanted to hide
  • So you penguins stay in these?
  • They're so plain
  • There's no crazy machines
  • no crab servants
  • no comfy chairs
  • no in-floor heating
  • I don't know why you bother with them
  • Wave to the EPF cameras
  • Hey there EPF!
  • How does it feel being useless
  • while I'm all warm and safe?
  • Alright
  • quiet down
  • SHUSH!
  • Listen up!
  • You want a story?
  • Well
  • I AM a master storyteller
  • In addition to being a super genius
  • Very well!
  • Sit down and be quiet
  • Another story?
  • Thank you thank you
  • Feel free to applaud
  • NO BOOING!
  • WHAT ARE YOU A BUNCH OF GHOSTS?!
  • All of these stories are true!
  • YES THEY ARE!
  • THIS IS EXACTLY HOW THEY HAPPENED!
  • You wouldn't know a good story if it sneezed on you!
  • Story time is over!
  • Once upon a time there was a magnificent polar bear
  • Who was trying to build a wood chopper
  • So that everyone could have a nice warm fire
  • But along came a group of nasty agents
  • And they didn't want ANYONE to be warm
  • So they snuck up on the poor polar bear
  • And they mixed up the wood chopper's controls
  • causing it to sink into a lake!
  • The end
  • Once upon a time there was a Clothes Shop
  • And the Clothes Shop had a vault full of coins
  • But the vault was very dirty
  • and difficult to clean
  • There were coins everywhere!
  • So a friendly polar bear decided to help
  • He built a HUGE magnet to lift up all the coins
  • But a group of stinky agents came by
  • And they wanted everything to be stinky like them
  • So they wrecked the magnet!
  • Once upon a time there was a bunch of sad penguins
  • They were bored because everything was boring
  • He built an enormous underground drill
  • And he drilled a bunch of super sweet tunnels
  • Everyone was happy!
  • But a group of grumpy agents came along
  • And they didn't want ANYone to have fun
  • So they broke the polar bear's drill
  • and almost wrecked the island's precious boiler!
  • Once upon a time
  • there was a cold island
  • And on that island was a poor cold polar bear
  • But the bear was also clever
  • So he made a thermal reversion laser
  • And it made one spot on the dreary island
  • As warm as the tropics!
  • He even let some penguins stay there
  • Which was pretty nice considering
  • How mean they had been
  • But some agents were angry
  • just because the bear was warm
  • So they blew up his laser!
  • And made the whole island lame
  • and boring again
  • There was a polar bear that drifted
  • to an island full of mean penguins
  • He wanted to be warm and safe
  • So he made a base far away from the penguins
  • And constructed a heater
  • But his foolish crab minion
  • Stole a coin-operated dial for the heater
  • So he came up with a brilliant plan
  • He would make the useless furballs
  • called puffles
  • dig up coins for him
  • So that he could be warm forever
  • Now the bear wants to be left alone!
  • GOT IT?!

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